We've brought Katie and Brian together with the pastors and CE or youth program directors in three churches (New Haven, Wilton, and New Canaan).  Katie, Brian, and the local leaders developed programs over the last few months that enabled youth and young adults to talk about the LGBT stereotypes, the experience of LGBT young people in the face of these attitudes, and ways of creating more supportive, loving, understanding environments.

Sexual minority youth are routinely deprived of support in critical areas of their lives – within their families, their schools, and unfortunately, their churches.  Some disturbing statistics tell the story:

• A recent study of homeless youth revealed that LGBT youth leave home more often, experience higher levels of physical victimization, substance abuse and depression than their heterosexual counterparts (Cochran, et al, May 2002)
• A national survey of parents in 2001 (Horizon Foundation, San Francisco, CA) found that although support is improving, 44 % of parents opposed the creation of school based prejudice reduction.
• A 2001 survey of 904 LGBT high school students conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) showed that 68.8% of LGBT students and a whopping 89.5% of transgender students feel unsafe in school. In addition, 83.2 % of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed because of their sexual orientation and 48.3 % of LGBT youth of color reported being harassed because of both their sexual orientation and their race/ethnicity. A total of 41.9% of LGBT youth reported physically harassment and 21.1% reported physical assault.
• A November 1998 poll of top high schoolers by Who's Who Among American High School Students found that 48% admitted they were prejudiced against gays, up 19% from the previous year.  (Y2K Who's Who among American High School Students, Educational Communications, Inc., Lake Forest, IL)

The lack of social support that many of our LGBT youth face creates a social and emotional  isolation that results in a higher incidence of mental health issues, including bouts of depression, lower self esteem, and problems with anxiety. Many LBGT young people are in complex, unstable family situations due in part to issues of coming out, silence and secrecy.  (Cochran, 2001). The typical "concealment strategies" designed to hide the youth's orientation becomes an "unending and extremely stressful chore" (Grossman, 1997) that is emotionally and socially crippling (Dempsey, 1994).
 

Youth gathered around Brian Cave at First Pres, New Canaan

A number of studies indicate that a significant percentage of sexual minority youth use drugs and alcohol as a coping strategy. There is also a significantly higher incidence of suicide attempts and suicide completions by LGBT youths. Nearly 30% of all completed youth suicides are committed by sexual minority youth. A number of studies have indicated that between 29% and 40% of sexual minority youth have recurring suicidal ideation at least once during their adolescence.

These are depressing statistics, and it is important to note that not all LGBT youth experience these horrors. In fact, where there has been effort to create safe spaces for LGBT youth, our children have begun to claim their rightful claim to self-respect, participation, and pride.

I want to thank Robin Passariello McHaelen and True Colors, a nonprofit agency based in Hartford that serves sexual minority youth, for the research information used here.

Presbyterian Promise has a crucial role to play in creating safe and welcoming space in our churches. That's why we've partnered this year with churches and worked to open dialogue in ways that are honest, loving, and supportive. Two reports on the events follow.

Presbyterian Promise, along with Rev. Katie Morrison, of Boston and I (Elder Brian Cave of New York) provided four programs for youth and young adults at First Presbyterian New Haven, Yale, and Wilton and New Canaan Presbyterian Churches.  Each of the programs provided information about discrimination and fear of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people in the church and in society. Most of the young people were amazed to learn that GLBT people do not have the same rights as heterosexual peers in the church and society.

On Sunday, February 9th Katie and I met New Haven Presbyterian's young adult group for lunch after church. The discussion among the group was very supportive of GLBT people. Most of the young adults voiced their opinion that GLBT people should be allowed to be ordained and get married in the church. They also agreed there is still a lot of education that needs to be done among churches and they are thankful for groups like Presbyterian Promise that help churches host programs to get churches in dialogue among their congregation. 
  

After the junior high/senior high program we went over to Yale to lead a discussion on homosexuality and the Bible with the Presbyterian Campus Ministry group.  It was a great discussion, but it was evident that this could be a series of studies for the group.

On  March 2nd, I went solo to New Canaan Presbyterian Church to lead a program for the senior high group. Wilton Presbyterian Church joined us with two van loads of senior highs. Just as at New Haven Presbyterian, the program focused on stereotypes, making fun of peers, and rates of suicide among young people struggling with their sexuality. I had the group break up into small groups to dialogue together about GLTB issues and the church. After all the programs the youth and young adults thanked us for creating the space for this dialogue; they feel that they really don't get the chance to be as open as they were during these programs.

These programs show the importance of reaching out to our queer and straight youth and young adults in our churches to make sure they want to stay in the church.  Katie and I have been a voice for young people and getting churches to talk about sexuality among youth. That can seem to be a scary thing, but we have found that youth know more about sexuality than parents sometimes realize. Presbyterian Promise is trying to open the doors for the GLBT youth and young adults and let them know that there are churches that are welcoming of them and that God does love them. If you have a church youth or young adult group that would like to have Presbyterian Promise sponsor a program, please contact Dick Hasbany at (203) 777-4579.

Brian Cave and Katie Morrison joined us at First Presbyterian Church, New Haven  on February 9th for a Presbyterian Promise sponsored program with approximately 25 junior and senior high school youth. They provided us with a fun-filled and very meaningful evening.They focused on the language that we use, how stereotypes can hurt us, and how to be sensitive to one another.Their personal stories, along with the activities, were thought provoking and engaged all of us present in a very important discussion.

The other afternoon I was having a conversation with a friend relating this program to her, and trying to describe it.My friend and her partner and their three children have been family friends for many years.I have often tried to convince them to worship with us because of the welcoming community our congregation offers, being tolerant of all kinds of lifestyles.She stopped me and said that she wished that people would stop talking about "tolerance" and start talking about "acceptance."

I was stunned for a moment, and realized that of course she was right.Upon reflection I realized that neither Katie or Brian
would have used the word "tolerance" because of it's negative connotations.I do have to admit (sadly) that I had not considered carefully the meaning of that word, and how it would make people feel.This is exactly the lesson that Brian and Katie brought to our youth, that we need to be not only intentional in the language that we use, but thoughtful as well.

Brian and Katie were very well received by our youth and the group leaders.Many of them took the opportunity to speak with them following the formal presentation, and I feel certain that what we learned from them will be the source of ongoing discussions, as well as further learning opportunities.

In the current atmospheres within the Presbyterian Church, including honest struggle as well as polemics, the Session of First Presbyterian Church, New Haven, felt it was important to state clearly our welcome to all, in a positive and loving way. Towards that end, the Session has commissioned a Statement of Inclusive Welcome.

The Sessions of 2002 and 2003 supported the development of this statement of welcome. It was adopted unanimously at the January 21st meeting of the Session.

Here is the text of our Statement of Inclusive Welcome.

"In the name of God our creator, we welcome you and all people. We are a community committed to follow Jesus Christ in a just and compassionate ministry open to the world and all its races, genders, sexual orientations, ages, nationalities or ethnicities, economic situations, and abilities.

"We embody the Presbyterian Church's (USA) recognition and celebration of the diversity gifts. It is in our diversity that the fullness of God is made manifest. Responding to the Spirit's movement in our midst, we embrace and honor all who have been called by Jesus Christ to the ministries of membership and ordained leadership in the church."

Can this title sell? Coming from a background on the edge of Madison Ave., that was my first question on seeing Wayne Osborne's new CD. But we live in serious times. This music will be a friend on our journey.

are things so serious
i ask myself
are things so serious
...
if bombs fall and if wonderful is no more
if worlds are gone or if all love has died
then there'll be reason to cry

you defend the fatherland at whatever cost, whatever
you take another stand and show us you're a religious man
you stand and raise your hand straight up to the sky
you march to the band and drive us from our land
i see the stars beyond the wall
i thought this would never come
but now i see them fall
the bombs are falling
i can't believe it's come to this
the bombs are falling

The all too familiar (to members of Presbyterian Promise) Stamford case forced Wayne to defend publicly his most intimate desires, severely testing his deep beliefs about himself, the world, relationships in general, and the liberating power of confession. So Serious, documents a lifelong inner struggle to hold onto belief with the ability to face the world with honesty.

Wayne grew up in a musical web of Rock and Pop spun with the rich gospel music of the Deep South. Moving north, he entered the crucible of New York City's music and art scenes where he refined his intensely personal musical style. The songs on So Serious are heart wrenching yet healing and offer a stark reminder of how truth and honesty are both at work in our inner and outer worlds. The CD is available online at www.ra-records.com and will be in music stores in the Spring of 2003. You will be well rewarded for accepting Wayne's gentle yet insistent invitation to serious reflection.

At its second annual meeting on January 19th, members of Presbyterian Promise learned we had a fourth sponsoring church! At its January meeting the session of Providence Presbyterian Church in Providence, Rhode Island, voted to become a sponsoring member. Co-moderator Dick Hasbany welcomed them cordially as all present celebrated their commitment to an inclusive Presbyterian church.

And on March 18 Crossroads Presbyterian ALSO voted to be a sponsor! Alleluia! Lisa Larges, TAMFS national regional coordinator preached and lead a discussion at Crossroads last October and will be at Providence April 27th.
 

In conversation with Burlington – Sue Brooks, Revs. Becky Strader and Mike Brown, Al Brooks of Christ Church, Presbyterian  Hartwein-Sanchez

In regular business, Elders Mary-Starke Wilson and Dan Blackford and the Rev. Brian Merritt were elected to the board in the class of 2005. Rev. Letty Russell was reelected. Elders Dick Hasbany, Cheryl Molina, Pat Wales and Ralph Jones continue in service as does Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, MLP liaison. Elaine Shields, Rev. Terry Davis and Sharon Fennema serve for the Wilton, Hartford and New Haven churches, respectively.

Conversation with the pastors and two members of Christ Church, Presbyterian in Burlington, Vermont was the focus of the meeting. Co-pastors Becky Strader and Mike Brown and members Al and Sue Brooks shared some of their history – how the church became a More Light congregation back in 1984, their experience with the various challenges to their statements on what became G-6.0106b and the development of their new "Statement of Compliance." Conversation turned to ways Presbyterians can be both faithful and continue within a denomination which so often acts to exclude. The Statement and a brief chronology are in the December 2002 issue of Presbyterian Promise News available on our website.

Burlington's Ken Wolvington recently reported on the official presbytery reaction to their statement.

At its regular meeting Saturday, March 8th, the Presbytery of  Northern New England received the final report of the "Pastoral  Committee" that was established in the aftermath of "Londonderry vs. The Presbytery of Northern New England." You may remember that in June of 2002 Christ Church, Presbyterian  (CCP) had "set aside" its 1997 resolution expressing dissent from G-6.0106b and promising that a new statement would be forthcoming. The new "Statement of Compliance with G-6.0106b" was first issued in November. After consultation with the Pastoral Committee, the statement underwent minor editorial changes that were approved by session on March 2, 2003.

The Pastoral Committee final report was presented by the Rev. Dr. Dwight White, a conservative and much-revered former Stated Clerk of the presbytery. After noting that statements such as CCP's new proclamation "are of limited usefulness, because the proper time to interpret and apply any constitutional provision, including G-6.0106b, is when a particular candidate is being examined for office," and trusting that "..CCP will make the same good faith effort to apply all relevant provisions of the Constitution as it examines those elected to office that it has shown in the preparation of its present statement," the Committee expressed satisfaction that CCP's statement "...is a thoughtful attempt to state the Session's understanding, perspective and views. It is our opinion that the statement does not defy or violate the Constitution."

The report was accepted without debate and fewer than a handful of dissenting "No's." It remains to be seen what will happen next.

...and YOU can help. Today there are three bills before the Connecticut State Legislature's Judiciary Committee.

• HB 5356 - An Act Concerning Marriage provides, "... that only a union between a man and a woman shall be a marriage under state law and receive the associated rights and benefits.." It effectively repeals existing laws protecting same sex couples. This is generally know as the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
• HB 6388 - An Act Concerning The Applicability Of Certain State Statutes To Same Sex Partners, would "authorize the establishment of civil unions and grant to the parties in a civil union the same benefits, protections and responsibilities as granted to spouses in a marriage."
• HB 6389 - An Act Concerning Same Sex Marriage, would "authorize any two persons to enter into marriage, regardless of sex, provided such persons are not related to each other within certain degrees of kindred."

But your legislators – both Representatives and Senators – need your help. Write them. A massive letter campaign supporting the DOMA HB 5356 is under way. They need to know we will be there to support them come election time, especially if they vote for same sex marriage.

Letters should be short. Identify yourself as a constituent. If you know them personally, make sure they will recognize it is you who is writing. Thank them for persevering in the hard work of elected office. Tell them you support enacting same sex marriage legislation and oppose the DOMA. Tell them why.

Check at town hall or go to http://www.cga.state.ct.us/  if you need help finding your senator or representative. Also check the Judiciary committee membership. Letters to its members are extremely important.

Your 37¢ is the easiest powerful political action you can take. Legislators report that letters are the single most effective form of constituent communication. What you do or don't do DOES matter. Supporting good law now is far easier than changing bad law later. Please write today.

An era in the hospitality movement has ended. The Reverend Howard B. Warren, Jr. died March 14th at age 68.
 

Howard Warren Ken Wolvington

Many of us knew Howard as "God's glorious gadfly," and thanked God for his powerful and warm proclamation of the "wildly, extravagant, inclusive love of God."

The PC USA News reports, "Describing a man who 'exploded out of the closet,' the Rev. Jane Spahr describes Warren's activism in the Presbyterian Church as done 'with a passion for justice and for truth-telling, but always with a compassionate heart.' Remembering his purple-sequined hats, his placards as he stood for years before the General Assembly and his rainbow-colored banners and clothes, Spahr credits Warren with making the gay and lesbian movement in the PC(USA) move."

In the memorial on That All May Freely Serve's webpage, we learn,

The Rev. Howard B. Warren Jr. attended McCormick Theological Seminary and Union Theological Seminary in New York and was ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the United Presbyterian Church U.S. in 1960. He served as Associate Pastor in churches throughout Pennsylvania, Indiana and Michigan. In 1987 he came out to the Presbytery of Detroit as a person with AIDS and a gay man. In the last years of his distinguished ministry Howard served as Director of Pastoral Care at the Damien Center, an HIV/AIDS service/support center in Indianapolis, a validated specialized ministry of the Presbytery of Whitewater Valley.

A leader in Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (now More Light Presbyterians), with the Rev. Lisa Bove Howard founded Presbyterians Act Up and was active with the Presbyterian AIDS Network and a founding supporter of That All May Freely Serve. Many remember Howard for his warm smile, his exuberant joy, his relentless rainbow apparel and the sandwich board signs he wore at General Assemblies.

Today Howard is with the One who is our eternal welcome. We remember the words he preached in a service at Mckinley Presbyterian Church in Champaign Illinois in 1998:

"Our job as God's  More Light people is to bring everyone alive, set them free to live and love here and now and forever.

Both conservative, evangelical churches and liberal, inclusive churches have some significant disagreements and grievances with the national church. These two groups do, however, appear to differ in their response.

We recently compared the 420 Covenant Network and/or More Light churches with the 1,255 churches in the so-called "Confessing Church Movement." [Using denominational statistics from 2001 and 2000]

The average church size is the same (326 for both groups). Although they are on average the same size, the 420 CovNet and/or MLP churches give on average more than twice as much to G.A. mission, and more than two and a half times as much to presbytery and synod mission, as do "confessing" churches. These 420 CovNet and MLP churches give 76% as much in aggregate to the denomination at all three levels as do the 1,255 "confessing" churches. ....

Covenant and More Light churches pay 27% more per capita than do so-called "confessing" churches ($19.68 per capita vs. $15.50).

Incidentally they also differ very substantially on the role of women. 40% of clergy in CovNet and/or MLP churches are women; 9% of "confessing church" clergy are women. (Denominational average for parish clergy is 22% women.)

April 26, 2003 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM

You are invited!

"Whatever house you enter, first say 'Peace Be with This House!' " [Luke 10:5-6] At times, the board members and supporters of Presbyterian Promise will be practicing invitation and hospitality. At other times, we will be accepting the invitation and hospitality of others. This reciprocal hospitality is crucial to the mission of Presbyterian Promise.  Sometimes, we will feel like the wandering laborers in Luke 10, sent out "like lambs into the midst of wolves" to harvest for the Lord. We will graciously accept the hospitality of all those who invite us into their midst. We will practice hospitality when and where we can. Come learn more about this aspect of our ministry, and the many other things we hope to accomplish this year, by accepting the invitation and hospitality of Crossroads Church and the board on Saturday, April 26 from 10:00 am to 2:00 p.m. Come and enjoy some productive time with Lisa Largess of That All May Freely Serve.

Enjoy a simple meal of soup and fresh bread, some fairly traded coffee and a little dessert. Help us to think about and plan our work on behalf of LGBT people in our midst and outside our church doors, that more churches might open wide their doors in an expression of hospitality.

• 6 Apr 03 – Board meets at Crossroads PC at 3 PM
• 26 Apr 03 – Presbyterian Promise "advance." Please join with the board for this opportunity to work for a more inviting church. 10 AM till 2:00 at Waterford: Crossroads
• 27 Apr 03 – Celebration of witness. PLEASE POST AND DISTRIBUTE COPIES OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT! Join Presbyterian Promise, Presbyterian Welcome and the Dissenting Churches of Hudson River at First Presbyterian Church in Stamford for a celebration of the witness of the Rev. Cliff Frasier as he prepares to serve six months in jail for his civil disobedience protesting the "Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation in Fort Benning. Music by Wayne Osborne. 4 PM
• 18 May 03 – Board meets at Hartford PC - 3 PM
• 7 June 03 – New Haven GLBTI pride festival. Visit us here!
• 8 June 03 – Board meets at New Haven PC - 3 PM
• 21 June 03 – Rhode Island Pride celebration. Stop by!